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About Literature / Hobbyist Merandah Sage Deltori22/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Literature
Blissful (Spiritual Autobiography)
It’s never about what we leave behind; it’s how we live our lives...
Once upon a time, back when I was young and ignorantly believed I was a deep and meaningful person, I used to think life didn’t have a point. I mean, we spend our lives trying over and over again after failing almost continuously. Then our reward for when we finally do succeed is just to die and lose it all. And if that’s the case, then why bother? What’s the point? I stopped thinking that way a long time ago. Yet, I still can’t pinpoint why I was put on this earth. Maybe there isn’t even a reason behind my existence. Or maybe the point of life is to give it our own meaning by finding our bliss.
Have to stand up to be stronger...
I was five years old when I started dancing. Then I was probably around ten or eleven when I decided to make it a permanent part of my life. Dance is a big form of expression to me. When I want to convey a specific emotion, I turn to my
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Literature
Untitled
There’s been a lot going on in my head lately. My thoughts have been drawn to the dark, casting shadows over memories… Some days are better than others, but most days are worse than some. These are the thoughts I can’t escape; I can’t abandon. I’m not good enough. I’m not worth it. I could be easily forgotten and replaced. So rather than allowing that to happen, I’ve chosen to displace myself. Remove myself. Fall back from the lives I have no real purpose in. The lives of the friends who have better friends than me. After all, I’ve become numb—immune—to the idea of being the second option. The last resort. So now the idea of being forgotten and left behind… Well, it no longer bothers me. Me. The girl who once had abandonment issues. Still has abandonment issues. Has become so used to being abandoned that it’s second nature now and no longer even an issue… That’s okay, though. I may not be okay, but the
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Literature
Stream of Consciousness
1am,
my old friend.
With the moon and the stars
and the silent tears.
The shallow breaths,
the pounding heart,
lying alone in the dark.
Body at the will of the cold bed,
the empty bed.
No calm,
no comfort,
no noise.
Just me and my thoughts.
Dark thoughts.
Haunting thoughts.
Leave me alone, thoughts.
Alone.
Like the moon and the stars
and each teardrop.
Does the moon fear the dark?
Is that why it shines so bright?
And do the stars cry?
Is that why they fall?
Why can't I shine?
Why must I only fall?
Fall.
Deeper and deeper,
closer to the bottom.
Hard bottom.
Cold bottom.
Rock bottom.
Weighed down
by this weight on my shoulders.
Heavy weight,
leaving me broken and battered.
Shallow breaths.
Pounding heart.
No way out.
No safety net.
Just me,
alone in the dark,
except for my thoughts.
Alone.
In the middle of the night.
My old friend,
1am.
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FlyWithDamagedWings
Merandah Sage Deltori
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Blessed Be )O(
Randy | Lady Sage | Karnelia FireStar |
22 | Taken | Wiccan | Writer | Dancer | Model |
Daydreamer | Idealist | Cosplayer | Fangirl |

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RIP Grandma ♥
RIP Papa ♥
So I've realised that I go through these sort of phases where I'm in a bad mood and I'll basically just stew and sulk in that mood for hours--sometimes even days--and then something will happen or change or whatever and I'll be in a better mood but then I'll suddenly remember that I was "supposed" to be in a bad mood and I'll feel guilty about having been in the good mood so then I'll relapse to that bad mood and I literally will not allow myself feel better or get cheered up or anything until I believe I've been in a bad mood long enough and deserve to temporarily be happy again and then the cycle just repeats and I'm not sure if that's specific to some psychological disorder or if it's just part of depression or what but it's seriously fucking mentally exhausting and emotionally draining 



~Merandah Sage Deltori 
  • Listening to: my heart
  • Reading: between the lines
  • Watching: myself become who I am supposed to be
  • Playing: not by the rules of the game
  • Drinking: a bottle of emotions

Comments


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:iconboricua16shawty:
boricua16shawty Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
awesome artwork Love 
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:iconflywithdamagedwings:
FlyWithDamagedWings Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much 
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:iconboricua16shawty:
boricua16shawty Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome 😁
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:iconicycaramel:
icycaramel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2016  Hobbyist
Thanks for the fave on #2 - Long Way Down!!
It means a LOT! :happybounce: 
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:iconflywithdamagedwings:
FlyWithDamagedWings Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome 
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:iconlordmaverick:
LordMaverick Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!!
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:iconflywithdamagedwings:
FlyWithDamagedWings Featured By Owner May 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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:iconmikesw1234:
Mikesw1234 Featured By Owner May 14, 2016
Happy B-Day!
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:iconflywithdamagedwings:
FlyWithDamagedWings Featured By Owner May 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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