"She was more than a spark in the finer scheme of things.
She was the fucking flame."
I'll turn into dust...
Not the kind of dust that shimmers in the sunlight, though.
The kind of dust that fills the cracks of broken things.
Blissful (Spiritual Autobiography)It’s never about what we leave behind; it’s how we live our lives...Blissful (Spiritual Autobiography) by FlyWithDamagedWings
Once upon a time, back when I was young and ignorantly believed I was a deep and meaningful person, I used to think life didn’t have a point. I mean, we spend our lives trying over and over again after failing almost continuously. Then our reward for when we finally do succeed is just to die and lose it all. And if that’s the case, then why bother? What’s the point? I stopped thinking that way a long time ago. Yet, I still can’t pinpoint why I was put on this earth. Maybe there isn’t even a reason behind my existence. Or maybe the point of life is to give it our own meaning by finding our bliss.
Have to stand up to be stronger...
I was five years old when I started dancing. Then I was probably around ten or eleven when I decided to make it a permanent part of my life. Dance is a big form of expression to me. When I want to convey a specific emotion, I turn to my
UntitledThere’s been a lot going on in my head lately. My thoughts have been drawn to the dark, casting shadows over memories… Some days are better than others, but most days are worse than some. These are the thoughts I can’t escape; I can’t abandon. I’m not good enough. I’m not worth it. I could be easily forgotten and replaced. So rather than allowing that to happen, I’ve chosen to displace myself. Remove myself. Fall back from the lives I have no real purpose in. The lives of the friends who have better friends than me. After all, I’ve become numb—immune—to the idea of being the second option. The last resort. So now the idea of being forgotten and left behind… Well, it no longer bothers me. Me. The girl who once had abandonment issues. Still has abandonment issues. Has become so used to being abandoned that it’s second nature now and no longer even an issue… That’s okay, though. I may not be okay, but theUntitled by FlyWithDamagedWings
Stream of Consciousness1am,Stream of Consciousness by FlyWithDamagedWings
my old friend.
With the moon and the stars
and the silent tears.
The shallow breaths,
the pounding heart,
lying alone in the dark.
Body at the will of the cold bed,
the empty bed.
Just me and my thoughts.
Leave me alone, thoughts.
Like the moon and the stars
and each teardrop.
Does the moon fear the dark?
Is that why it shines so bright?
And do the stars cry?
Is that why they fall?
Why can't I shine?
Why must I only fall?
Deeper and deeper,
closer to the bottom.
by this weight on my shoulders.
leaving me broken and battered.
No way out.
No safety net.
alone in the dark,
except for my thoughts.
In the middle of the night.
My old friend,
ranting cuz it's not like I ever do anything elseSo I've realised that I go through these sort of phases where I'm in a bad mood and I'll basically just stew and sulk in that mood for hours--sometimes even days--and then something will happen or change or whatever and I'll be in a better mood but then I'll suddenly remember that I was "supposed" to be in a bad mood and I'll feel guilty about having been in the good mood so then I'll relapse to that bad mood and I literally will not allow myself feel better or get cheered up or anything until I believe I've been in a bad mood long enough and deserve to temporarily be happy again and then the cycle just repeats and I'm not sure if that's specific to some psychological disorder or if it's just part of depression or what but it's seriously fucking mentally exhausting and emotionally drainingranting cuz it's not like I ever do anything else by FlyWithDamagedWings
~Merandah Sage Deltori
Blessed Be )O(
Randy | Lady Sage | Karnelia FireStar |
22 | Taken | Wiccan | Writer | Dancer | Model |
Daydreamer | Idealist | Cosplayer | Fangirl |
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RIP Grandma ♥
RIP Papa ♥